February 28, 2005 at 11:41 am (The Litterbox Confessional)
Tags: blogging, funny, litterbox confessional, silly, story
Its 3am. and I just got home from a night of walking around the city and chatting it up with Lauren. Strange how you meet people you can totally connect with in a place like the internet. Then again, these days the internet is commonplace.
Two cups of coffee, six cigarettes and 4 miles in 20 degree NYC weather while yapping about our geeky internet lives and various life tragedies and its time to go back home. Fucked up as it sounds, its actually kinda comforting to know your not the only one who’s been through life’s hard knocks.
We say our goodnights and part ways (hope she got home ok) and its time to catch the D-train, dredding that damn transfer to the A-train at 2:30 in the effin’ morning in the middle of Harlem w/ a $100 i-pod shuffle the size of a winterfresh beating Led Zeppelin at your ear drums. No? What? No more uptown service? FUCK! Now I gotta walk out and west 2 more blocks. May as well. I get to take the A-train straight home after all.
Eighteen minutes later and I’m finally allowed to swipe through (damn effin’ metrocards!) and I board the A-train safe and sound. These days its hard to nap on the way home. My shuffle (known from here on out as “Clementine”) around my neck keeps me on my toes. Nobody is going to jack my shit with out a fist in the eye. Can’t be too bad though. I look around and there must be seven of us jack-asses with white headphones. Apple’s making a killin’ these days I tell ya.
So I stare at the billboards as the train zips by. “The Jacket?” Oh yeah, we agreed that we’ll check that flick out next time around.
What the hell is that? I keep seeing billboards w/ my childhood female cartoon characters from shows like The Flintstones, Jetsons, and Scooby-Doo. Wasn’t paying too much attention but it had to be some hair care product (even though Wilma’s new “do” looks pretty awful even in the “after” pic, lol) Then I spot another one. Some idiot vandalized it with a sharpie.
- *in bold caps: “WILMA IS A WHITE TRASH BITCH”
- in small font w/ parenthesis: “Thats JANE JETSON you fucking dingbat!”
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February 28, 2005 at 9:38 am (The Litterbox Confessional)
Tags: blogging, cranky, funny, litterbox confessional, moody, random, silly, story
Crossing the street, minding my own business during my lunch hour I was blissfully listening to my lil’ shuffle (affectionately named Clementine) playing “Interstate Love Song” when all of the sudden, “SSSssscccccccccccccccreeeeeeeeeeeeechhhh!!!”
I don’t know, but that whole thing about life flashing before your eyes is utter bullsh*t because all I pictured was Scott Weiland’s head exploding. *shrugs
When I came to half a second later, I realized a taxi cab almost ran me over. The sh*t that pisses me off is that I had the right of way. And whats worse?! HE gets mad at ME and speeds off after I continue walking across the street. Before I could shake my fist in the air and swear him off to kingdom come, a most unexpected (and pleasant for me at least) suprise! A cop car comes out of no where and the sirens start blaring. I’d have done my little ipod-shuffle dance right there if it hadn’t been for the fact that the next song was “Stairway to Heaven.” Not exactly victory-dance material, you know?
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February 27, 2005 at 7:30 am (The Litterbox Confessional)
Tags: blogging, funny, litterbox confessional, moody, silly
Taking a sip of coffee at 10:30a on a Thursday morning. I’ve got a teeth-sucking, disgruntled operator to my left, a clunky compressor machine farting burnt rubber scented stink to my right and somewhere off in the distance behind me are the sounds of a child’s muffled screams, vainly staving off the dental drill with all its maniacal revving. F**k, I let it get cold again. This is going to be the third time I have to nuke the f**ker.
Sitting here makes me wonder, how the f**k did I get here in the first place?
Worse still is having to listen to some of the corniest, snappy comments of the passer-bys I don’t exactly work with. I consider it part of my job qualifications to successfully avoid participating in most daily interactions with them. The best thing I’ve learned in the past few months at this place is how to appear busy while typing nonsense. I’ve gotten very good at it too. I would be proud of myself… if that were the kind of thing one should be proud of.
Normally, I’m alot more pleasant than this. I’m sure you’ll realize that as you read later entires. That is, if you haven’t ho-hummed by now and clicked on the little “x” at the upper right hand corner of this window. Sorry about that. This particular mood must be because in the back of my mind I haven’t solved the greatest mystery of in my life at this very moment.
Whats for lunch?
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February 25, 2005 at 3:22 am (The Litterbox Confessional, Uncategorized)
Tags: blogging, cats, weird
I had a little blog once, years ago. Its name was The Litterbox Confessional. I’ve been considering bringing it back in a sub category, maybe. It was such a catchy name, but I like WordPress better than Blogger.com. Its just that it takes so much effort to go ahead and start another account just because I can’t get rid of the oh-so prosaic “Chelly07’s Weblog.”
What was I thinking?!
Well, this was my little hook:
Welcome to The Litterbox Confessional. Care to feast your eyes on some nonsensical brain farting? Ever wonder why you can’t keep your eyes open when you sneeze? Did it ever cross your mind to test and see if its true that scorpions committ suicide when fed drops of alcohol? Me either. Its all splendiforously craptastical. A not-so-great escape from the terrifically boring mundanity of your job. I mean if your reading this…it must be, right?
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